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Moving out/Apologizing; -Closed-
Topic Started: Sep 16 2004, 08:22 PM (266 Views)
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Fait walked into his dorm room, tired from training all night. His eyes still burned from the sweat, tears, and blood that had washed over them. He sighed slightly and walked into his room, setting his sword on his bed. He walked into the main room for a minute and sat down, completely exhausted. Angeles wouldn't want him to live with her anymore....not after what had happened...
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Ang walked in settign her books on the talbe and walking straight to her room to lay down. Pulling the sheets around her she remembered the few precious nights she had spent here with the boy she thought loved her. Of course she learned later that it wasn't true, he never had. She felt like crying again but she wouldn't. No she was determined not to waste antoehr tear over the issue. She walked irhgt by not even noticing he was there. Why would she, she had no reason to care anymore, she felt like a shell of her formal self.

Laying on her bed she grabed the remote to the CD player and turned on her favorite song, "Nothing Else Matters" by metallica nad closed her eyes thinking over all that had happened. She couldn't help it a small tear rolled down her cheek.
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Fait sighed quietly, watching her walk right past him. He couldn't blame her...He loved someone else...who didn't love him back. He had left Angeles for Mackenzie...and Mackenzie didn't even like him. It was hard, because he couldn't go back...back to the way things were...when everyone was happy...if anyone felt like a shell, it was Fait.

He stood up slowly and walked over into her room, sitting down in a chair next to her bed. He looked at her for a moment and watched as a tear rolled down her cheek. He couldn't help but feel bad...but he couldn't live a lie like that.

"Angeles...I'm sorry....I know you probably don't even care what I'm saying...but it really broke my heart to do that to you..."
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She didn't even open her eyes she merely took the heaviest book she had and threw it at him. "You lied about love, you lied about it all..." was all she said her sadness and a slight hint of anger showign through. "I actually did fall for you, then you ripped away all that made me happy, why because you had feelings for a girl who called herself your sister. But thats not it, whats it is you didn't even bother to be honest, I had to guess at clues..." after that she fell silent trying to ignore the fact that he was there.
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Fait winced as the book grazed across his forhead, the edge making a small gash in it. He rubbed away a tiny bloodspot before he turned back to her...she had every right to do this.

"Angeles...I didn't know...I thought my feelings for her had died...when I met you..."

He sighed quietly and looked down at the floor, a tear falling from the corner of his eye to the floor. He was so lost...she was right. He had fallen in love with his best friend...the girl so close to him she considered them related...how could he be so stupid? Logic went against everything his heart was telling him...

"I'm sorry Ang..."
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She sat up and looked at him. "Look Fait, no amount of apologizing is going ot change how you hurt me, nothing is gonna take away how empty I feel inside now." she sighed and stood up waling out fo the room.

IT jsut wasn't gettign through to him that he had really hurt her. Now he was trying to apologize for all of it. Thats what hurt most, he was sorry for all the wonderful times as well as the bad, but then again there had never been a bad time, well not until last night. "Just leave me alone" she yelled at him from the couch out in the living room area. "The least you can do is afford me the courtesy of lettign me try and live the rest of my life without the constant reminder of how I screwed up in beleiving you"
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YBNRML778
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((OOC: Why is it that you, Sir BrokenProphet, can't seem to spell my name properly ever? Y-B-NRML? SPELL IT! Lmao.

PS. This is not a post. This is just a comment until I decide to post.))
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((OOC: Well...It had just occured to me yesterday (thanks to AoD here) that it means Why Be Normal....So it should be easier from now on...but just to make you happy...Y-B-N-R-M-L-7-7-8)))

Fait winced when she spoke again and left the room. He would take it all back if he could....he had cared for her...it just wasn't truly love. If he could control his feelings, he probably would have stayed with Angeles...but he couldn't. He had left her...or she had left him...for the girl he considered his closest friend...the one who wanted nothing to do with him in a relationship..

He sighed quietly and wiped his cheek as another tear rolled out of the corner of his eye. He sniffed quickly and walked out of her room and into his own, not daring to look at her. He left his door slightly open as he turned on his stereo to his new favorite song...one that seemed to fit him insanely well. Lyrics hung quietly in the air as he started to pack his stuff away.

Today they asked me, "what do you always seem to fight?"
But though I could not answer I'd have lost my way
And I could tell that this ain't right
The morning sunrise seemed to ask me why I tried
To find the strength in people who had never thought about a different way of life
It just doesn't seem that easy

I don't know where to go
I don't know what to be
I don't know how to change from being me
I don't know what to say
Maybe another day
I'll stop getting lost and find my way, home
All I know is gone...

But the storms of weather, you know they don't seem to be as bad
If you think there's hope from here and there's a life you should now have
I don't have answers and no questions spring to mind
So here I've ended up now, there's no more signs and the roads are blocked
Aw, man...
It just doesn't seem that easy


(((I was listening to this song on my new cd...every time i hear it it brings Fait to my mind..)))
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Angeles sighed and got up moving to his doorway. She saw he had his headphones on so she simply waited till he saw her and took them off. "You want to talk?" she asked knowing that she wasn't happy with him but she couldn't be mean to him, she still loved him even if it hurt. It was true she didn't want to put herself bakc out there for him because he might do the same thing, however if for some reason he wanted to she would in a heartbeat. Her feelings seemed to contradict logic and that made it all the worse on her.
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Fait smiled weakly and brushed away a line of tears that had formed across his cheeks. He sniffed quickly as he took his headphones off, shutting of his stereo. He sighed deeply as the music died...it was like a part of him left with the last dying note. He shrugged it off and turned back around, his eyes full black...no lightning flashing across them as he ran a hand through his hair. His gloves were on his dresser, and there was a large burn mark in the center of his palm, as long as a deep scar running across the back of his other hand.

He forced a weak smile at her as he moved his bag off the bed, full of his clothes that he had packed. He didn't know where he would go...but he couldn't live here...it hurt to much. He sat down on the end of the bed and gripped his hands tightly together, watching her in the doorway.

"If you want to..."
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"I woudln't ask if I didn't want to" she responded. Her tone wasn't as hateful as before but it was still not a pleaseed voice, it seemed sad, depressed. She would have asked him a question or spoke up first but she didn't feel the need to speak. She wanted him to speak first, he would have more to say then her, or at least she figured he would.
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Fait sighed lightly and looked back down to his hands for a minute. After another few moments of battling with his mind, his eyes let out a dim spark of light. He stood up and kept his hand down as he walked over quickly to Angeles and hugged her tightly for a fleeting instant.

"Angeles..."

He sighed again and let her go. Just saying he was sorry wasn't getting through to her...and he would never tell her of the torment he went through internally....but he truly felt dead inside now. He had left her, and that made him feel bad, for a woman who will never love him, which only made the situation worse. He couldn't ever go back...he knew he couldn't. He couldn't control his feelings either...or the lack of, currently.

He sat back down on his old bed, placing his elbows on his knees and his hace in one of his hands as another tear slithered down his palm and down the length of his arm. He couldn't say anything to her...it wouldn't matter f he did.
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Angeles walked over to him and lifted his face to meet hers. She kissed him once more and looked him in the eyes. "Anything?" she asked him curious as to whether that had meant anything to him. She doubted it but it could happen, well maybe only in her dreams. She felt she needed him but then again after all that had happened could she trust him again.

A small tear rolled down her cheek "anything at all?" she asked once more hoping, that for some reason he did feel something in that small kiss. Doubtfully she sat down outside his door and looked at the ground.
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Fait raised an eyebrow slightly when she pressed his lips to hers. A shiver ran down his spine slightly as another small jolt of lightning burst from his eyes. Another tear rolled down his cheek as he got up from the bed and walked over, slamming down to the ground heavily, like his legs had just given out under him. He disguised it as trying to sit down quickly as he lefted her head a bit with his finger. He smiled weakly at her before he decided to speak again...his voice was a bit shaky and flat...but his words were heartfelt.

"Yes...I felt something...Not everything was a lie, Angeles....I do have feelings for you...I'm not lying...I truly do...But I ruined that when I fell for the girl who will never love me...."

He forced another weak smile as another tear fell into his lap. He leaned forward slightly and hugged her again, kissing her on the cheek.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you Angeles....I swear I am...Even if you dont want to beleive it...."
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She rested her head on his shoulder and didn't try to fight his embrace. "is there anyways to save this, us?" she asked him, not wantign to go through this kinda of pain twice, yet somehow she never wanted to leave the moments in hsi arms. It was at that moment she damned the fact that she had a heart and emotions to hell.

It was almost as if she wanted to be like Serean was, yet she could never be that heartless and cruel. "I know you didn't mean to, I knew that from the moment I found out..." she cried restign ehr head on his shoulder for possibly the last time.
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Fait smiled weakly and held her tighter to him. They were both leaned forward a bit, seeing as they were both sitting on the floor and hugging. Fait stood up slowly, leaning his back against the doorway as he hugged her. He had pulled her up with his and gripped her even tighter.

"I'm....I'm not sure...But I hope so..."

He let go of her slightly, letting her look into his eyes as a bit of lightning flashed across his shperes again. He closed them again and leaned down slightly, kissing her again. After all he had been through, his head was starting to come back down to earth. He couldn't love Mackenzie...he knew he couldn't.
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Ang cried more heavily as he kissed her and leaned into him. "So do I" she said, she felt a slight bit of hope in all this. She hoped she wasn't misplacing her trust yet again, but thsi tiem she felt she wasn't. "I just don't know Fait, How can we gaurantee this kind of thing won't happen again? I don't want to be hurt like this again, and I don't want to hurt you."

Just resting there she was held by him, wonderign how all this had worked out. Was it supposed to ,had they beaten the odds thsi time, had all the bad only been to show how much good there was. She didn't know and honestly thiking about all that at the moment only hurt her brain and gave her a headache.
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Fait smiled weakly at her and walked over, sitting on the end of his bed. He sat her down next to him, hugging her head to her chest and letting her cry onto him as his other hand was rubbing her back.

"I don't ever want to hurt you Ang...I didn't want to in the first place...I'm sorry this ever happened...."

He smiled again, a little weaker this time and lifted her eyes to meet his. He leaned down and kissed her again, pulling her close to him.

"But hey...At least we survived our first fight together, eh? And were closer because of it...."
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Ang noded and nuzzled into him laying back. She didn't care where they where, she just wanted to be with him, she didn't want to let him go a second time. The first time had been bad enough. "Lets give this anotehr shot okay, lets not screw it up a second time" she mentioned whispering to him as she lay there. She was glad that they might be gettign a second chance at all this.

SHe realized that as great as it was, she would still be a little uneasy at first. Tryign to lighten the mood she looked at him and spoke up "Don't expect any make up sex either" she said then let out a small giggle. She wasn't trying to be a pervert or rude she was just tyring to get a smile on his face.
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Fait grinned and lay back on the bed, his feet still touching the floor.

"Aww...That just ruins the whole plan..."

He smirked faintly and pulled her down next to him, leaning over and kissing her again. It was great....they had survived...and they were stronger because of it.
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She kissed his cheek and nuzzled in tight "Does it now?" seh asked a slight quizzical toen in her voice as she kissed his cheek. "If your telling me this was all some elaborate scheme to getl aid when all you had to do was ask for it Fait..." she said in a threatening tone, but then giggled a little and kissed the corner of his mouth since layign at his side kissing him full on the lips was kinda hard without turning his head.

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Fait grinned and leaned over, kissing her again as he hugged her tightly.

"No...I wasn't even thinking about that..."

He shrugged a bit and layed back down, reaching over and turning his stereo back on, turning the volume down a bit as the sound hung in the room. It was the same song as before and hearing it made him smile weakly.

"Ya know...this song...I think it fits me...really...really well."
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Ang smiled and nuzzled him. This all felt right yet somehow it seemed wrong, she didn't know why. "Fait, whats wrong?" she asked, as it seemed somethign was still bothering him. She couldn't place it but she knew somethign wasn't exactly right.

She shruged it off not wanting ot think of problems at the moment. She was happy or at least she felt she was and she didn't want to have that go away just because she had a slightly bad feeling.

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Fait sat up, a bit worried. He didn't want to hurt Angeles...he didn't ever want to hurt her...and she thought something was wrong.

"Nothings wrong...what are you talking about?"

He continued to sit at the edge of the bed, looking back down to her. A streak of lightning passed his eye but soon died, leaving his eyes entirely black.
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Ang looked at him and shook her head. "Nothing, it just seemed somethign was troubling you." she said and sat up leaning on him. She wondered how long this relationship would really last. It started out good, got messed up, then became good again. She hoped antoehr bad thing didn't come up, she wouldnt' let it, not that she could control it but she could try.
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Fait sighed quietly and wrapped his arm around her, kissing her on the forhead. He didn't know what to say...nothing would make this any easier. He had hurt her before...and he couldn't go back...and he didn't want her to go through that again...if anything ever came up in the future...especially his death...which all his friends said would come within the next year or so.

"Angeles....I don't want to hurt you...."
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She looked at him and noded "I knwo you don't" she said and kissed his cheekc just layign there. She hadn't picked up on it if he was tryign to let her go or not she was just layign there with him. She closed her eyes and listened ot hsi breathing. Thats all she focused on at the mometn and nothing more. Slowly she opened her eyes and ran her hand along one of his scars. "If you don't want to hurt me again, then don't"
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Fait winced slightly as she ran her finger along the scar across his chest. They still hurt...and the memories of each one were still fresh in his mind. If he werent so weak.....he wouldn't have these scars...he wouldn't have to deal with pain...he could be strong...but he wasn't at the moment.

"I'm not sure....If I will hurt you or not....I don't want to...I really don't Angeles.."
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She looked at him and noded "I know Fait, I know you don't" she repsonded and cut his words off by placing a finger over his lips. "Don't worry about it, we can worry about the future when it comes around, for now just enjoy what you can" she said basically telling him how she felt about life. She always worried about the future when it came up, she lived in the here and now rather then in the future. She hated thinking of the future because most of the time the future sucked ass.
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Fait had to agree with her partly...the future wasn't something he would normally think about....but lately...he had been worried. He didn't know where to go anymore...let alone what to do. He was lost...lost in his own mind...and he didn't want to bring Angeles down with him....she was a happy person...a free spirit...she deserved better than this.

"I'm not sure I can enjoy much of anything anymore Angeles..."
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"Not even the company of a girl who loves you?" she said kinda worried about him now. He always seemed so depressed, even before all this had happened. she sighed and closed her eyes her finger still idly tracing along the scar form earlier. She saw him wince a little and stoped apologizing soflty to him.


(yeah I know its short)
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Fait sighed quietly and stood up, turning around and standing in front of her. He leaned down and kissed her again on the lips, breaking off a second later.

"I'm...I dont know anymore Angeles....I wish I could say I do.."

(Hes so lost its funny..)
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She looked at him and sighed "Fait..." she stoped herself, she didn't know what ot say to that. Here she was happy again, and he was more lost then ever. It just wasn't right. She felt something was missing, she didn't know what but somethign was. He needed more then what she could give, she couldn't be there is he didn't even know what he wanted for himself, it would make it impossible for her to make him feel better.
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Fait sighed lightly and looked hugged Angeles, making her stand up next to him. He forced a weak smile and kissed her for the last time, making sure it was better than any one before. After a short time he was looking her in the eyes again.

"Angeles....I'm sorry...You know I don't want to hurt you...but im afraid I did..."
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Ang kissed bakc and turned away heading ot her room. "I see" she said walkign away. He hadn't outright said it but she understood, he did not want to be with her anymore. She sat on her bed closign the door and layed down just looking at the ceiling. How perfect, she thought all was finally coming bakc together when in reality it was nothign but the new begining for the original end.

She layed there as her eyes filled with tears, she couldn't help it this hurt and thsi time it was worse, it was as if she had lost him twice. She couldn't go back ot him now, nor did she take him back.She hoped it wouldn't end this way and yet it seemed it had.
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Fait tilted his head slightly as she let the room, his eyes completely black and lifeless. His head turned slowly to look back around the room as he finished packing his belongings. He had no idea where he would go...But he couldn't stay with her...it hurt her to much. He didn't want for her pain...it was the last thing he wanted...but the thing he seemed best at doing. He couldn't be with her anymore...it was to painful.

He took his sword on his back and threw his cloak on, sliding the rest of his belongings into his backpack. He took everything out of his room after that...weapons, clothes, anything small...he didn't want her to remember him as the lifeless version of who he now was...but the happy person he used to be. Leaving no trace of his former self would be the only way to do that.

He shut the door silently behind him after he was all packed. He had left a picture of them in its frame on a small coffe table in the middle of the room. The picute was of them holding eachother and smiling happily...a good memory trapped inside a picture. Aside from the picture was a small note that had waterdrops on it (tears) that said simply:

Forget who I am
Remember me as I was
I'm sorry for what I've become
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About an hour later she left her room and saw it there. Picking up the picture and the note she looked it over tears from her eyes hitting the happy memory in her hand. Slowly walking back to her room she closed her door behind her and held the pciture to her chest.

Thats all she did, lay there re-reading thsoe words, and looking at the picture for hours, its all she could do. He was gone, and all she had now was memories, the most recent ones the worst. It had been great, but now it was over, and she was layign there now heart broken.
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