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Wanting to give up; Seth, then open..or open o.O I dont know
Topic Started: Oct 21 2005, 05:30 PM (154 Views)
Deleted User
Deleted User

Now that it was fall, the whether had dropped dramatically? Being on the mountain didn’t help either. It was early morning. Damara would have been thrilled to be in her bed asleep, but she couldn’t deal with the pain and the dreams. She hated to think of herself as fragile, but was afraid of her mind breaking under such torment… even if that torment was just in her dreams. She wasn’t sure what time it was. When she left the dorms, no one had been awake. In fact, there had been no light in the sky when she left her room and headed towards the mountain. Due to exhaustion from lack of sleep, she was unable to make it to the very top. However, by time first light came, she had managed to make it to one of the lower peaks. Damara turned her blue eyes up to the sky. She had secretly hoped she would be greeted by clear, crisp blue skies. Instead, she was surrounded by grey, cloudy, ominous skies. It would surely rain sometime today. Maybe there might even be a thunderstorm.

The wind wasn’t harsh, but it was cold. With the wind factor, the temperature probably dropped 10 degrees from what it was at ground level. Damara lifted a slender hand and clutched on to the black scarf that was wrapped loosely around her neck. The last thing she needed was for it to blow off the mountain. Along with the scarf, she wore a black leather jacket and a pair of black jeans. Her hair was left loose to flow in the wind. The strands whipped lightly against her body and across her face. More then once, Damara had to push the loose strands back behind her ear.

The girl’s bleu eyes closed tightly as she fought back a wave of pain. It hit her like it always hit her... severe and quick. However, the pains were lasting longer and longer. At first, it would leave as soon as it came. Now, the pain would hit her and stay sharp from anywhere between a second to three minute. Just the other night she had been in her bed for 3 minutes crying as the agonizing pain ate at her for exactly 2 minutes and 53 seconds. Since she didn’t know how long this one would last, she stopped walking and knelt down. She had learned it was better to go to her knees instead of through force. Her eyes were still closed as she wrapped her arms around her, and tried to control her breathing. Whether her eyes were open or closed, she would still see flashes of her nightmares. Her slender body was visibly shivering as she tried to keep her completely collapsing over and jerking with the pain.

Lucky for her, this one only lasted just under a minute. She opened her eyes and could feel the beginning of a light perspiration on her forehead. Before standing up, she raised her hand to her forehead to wipe it away. Damara took in a deep breath and stood straight. She glanced past her shoulder and looked out at the horizon. Everything looked so small from here. Slowly recovering from the last attack, she walked over to the edge of the cliff. A dry short laugh escaped her throat. The last time she was up here, she had bumped in to Fait. Was he doing better then she? Damara shook her head and looked down. She was standing at the edge of the peak she was at, but under her she could see another ledge that was jutting outwards. The only way to get to it was to actually climb up to it, or jump down to it. Since the first was out of the question, she jumped off of the edge where she was and landed in a slightly kneeled position on the ledge below. Would she be able to get back up? She really didn’t care. At least here, no one would see her, or interrupt her.

Damara sat with her back against the mountain side so that she could look out at the horizon. She bent her legs and brought her knees very close to her chest. She then rested her chin on her knees, and wrapped her arms tightly around her legs. Her facial expression was what it always was, neutral and blank. However her eyes were no longer cold and distant, not at the moment. She was actually a bit worried. Death she was not afraid of, but she was afraid of what was happening to her.
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Seth Wynd
Unregistered

((As promised, I replied before Sunday, lol))

"Alright, I'm training, so I'd love to hear your excuse for coming here . . . "

The playful question was posed by Seth, who suddenly slid down the mountainside before the large bone spikes he referred to as 'spider legs' slammed into the side of the mountain and brought his descent to an abrupt halt a few feet from Damara's right side. For whatever insane reason, Seth wasn't wearing a shirt while he was up here; just his usual black jeans and military boots. It was a rather insane excuse to be sure, he was raising his pain tolerance even more by forcing himself to bear the usual pain of the bone-spikes piercing his flesh and shifting constantly in addition to the bitter cold. He hoped the now-visible scars didn't unease Damara too much. Granted she already knew about the ones on his arms and face, but he had far more on his back and chest. Numerous scars from bullet wounds, including three from exit wounds over his right lung and one just below his heart, a handful of scars from stab wounds across his chest and stomach, over a dozen from shotgun pellets along his back, as well as the seemingly endless scars from shrapnel wounds that also adorned his upper body.

"And I saw your little episode from a little higher up the mountain Damara, you're starting to scare me with all of this . . . I'm just glad you had the sense to get on your knees rather than fight to stay on your feet, you might have gone over the edge if you hadn't . . . "
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Deleted User
Deleted User

"Alright, I'm training, so I'd love to hear your excuse for coming here . . . "

Had she been that preoccupied that she had not heard someone sneaking up on her. That was a rare thing. Usually, her senses were quite excellent. Damara glanced to her right and saw Seth. She took a moment to star directly at all his scars. They didn’t bother her, but they did catch her attention. She tried to eye each area, and take a guess as to what caused each one. So many different scars; it was hard to tell. She had the urge to trace her fingernails along some of the stab ones. Those were some of the few wounds she could recognize clearly. However, at the same time she liked the idea of keeping her own personal space. After getting a good enough look at his body, she finally let her blue gaze met his blue gaze. His question went ignored. She was up here because she felt like being up here. Did she really need an explanation to her actions?

"And I saw your little episode from a little higher up the mountain Damara, you're starting to scare me with all of this . . . I'm just glad you had the sense to get on your knees rather than fight to stay on your feet, you might have gone over the edge if you hadn't . . . "

She still hadn’t moved, and removed in the same bundled position she was before he showed up. Part of the reason she had come up here was so that she could be alone. She didn’t like people seeing her go through her little moments of uncontrolled pain. It seemed that was pointless now. “I came here to get away, but it would seem that running away isn’t helping at all.” She meant the comment in more ways then one, but wasn’t going to further explain what she meant. Her gaze lowered, but didn’t really fix to anything else. “I’ve been trying to keep people from seeing those.” She said in a solemn voice before turning to look back at the horizon. “If I thought I would have been lucky enough to accidentally fall of the cliff, I might have remained on my feet. Whether I kneeled or not, I wasn’t going to fall.” She said, her voice a bit more detached then before. She shrugged her shoulders, then went back to leaning her chin on her knees. “I have been scaring myself as well lately.” That was a momentous moment for Damara. For once, she was speaking freely to someone, and not hiding what was bothering her.
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Seth Wynd
Unregistered

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“I’ve been trying to keep people from seeing those. If I thought I would have been lucky enough to accidentally fall of the cliff, I might have remained on my feet. Whether I kneeled or not, I wasn’t going to fall. I have been scaring myself as well lately.”


"Well, you should at least think about trying to get some help about it . . . I can't say I know of anyone offhand that might be able to help, but that's probably just because I know a whopping six or seven people at the school . . . and I don't put much trust in the outside world with this sort of thing . . . and as for running away, it never does work . . . " Seth replied, dropping down to the same ledge Damara was on, the spider-legs retracting back into his body to make moving around a bit easier. The wounds healed quickly, and what blood that came from the wounds began to trail down his back. "And as a favor, could you at least try to stop the suicidal thinking? It's fun having you around, I don't want to find out you've gone and died anytime soon, alright?"

(( Waaaaaaaah, I can't think of anything else to write ;_____; ))
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Deleted User
Deleted User

Without looking at a him, she responded. “I will probably seek help. I have thought about it. It is kind of hard when you think there is no one around that could help you. As for running away, I am just ignoring it. I just don’t feel I have a choice. Something is telling me that this is something that isn’t going to have a fix to it. “Damara closed her eyes, and took in a deep breath. “The outside world, I don’t even acknowledge that most of them exist. The same way I mean nothing to them, they mean nothing to me. “

"And as a favor, could you at least try to stop the suicidal thinking? Its fun having you around, I don't want to find out you've gone and died anytime soon, alright?"

That caused her to look up at him.

“I would describe myself as many things, but fun would not be one of them. I could promise to, but my promises don’t usually go for much.” She wondered if she should have told him if that was what she thought was happening. Her only assumption of what was going on , was that she was ultimately going to end up dead, are permanently and irreversible insane. No, not the insane she was now… they type that couldn’t think at all. Normally, death wouldn’t have frightened her, but this death… what she feared awaited her... that did frighten her. As she thought about it, she looked out at the horizon.. and slightly zoned out.
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