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The Commentary; Eeth, then open
Topic Started: Jun 21 2008, 11:44 AM (474 Views)
Neo
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I'd beware if I were you
[ *  *  *  * ]
10:30 in the morning comes around, and a WDMV mobile equipment van pulls up in front of Eeth's little pride and joy... well, one of them anyway. Hopping out of the driver and passenger was Haru and Kobe, with Murai exiting through the back. It was strange to see this place during the day... even more so to see people already lined up to get in. Hell, the place wasn't scheduled to open up for another half hour.

Kobe: *sighs* "Your fans Haru..."
Haru: "Hey, who doesn't like having dedicated listeners awaiting your arrival. Hey Murai, you sure we brought everything you're gonna need?"
Murai: "Checked and double checked. I'm positive this time."
Haru: "Alright, time to get set up."

Grabbing one of the cases that they packed up yesterday, Haru waved over to the already assembled mass and led the way inside for the three of them. And almost on queue, a few seconds later, the sound of an approaching scream of terror made its way back to the front doors of the establishment. Murai had just made it outside, but was tackled by Haru and Kobe, who had to drag him back in while he was kicking and panicking.

Murai: "No.. NO.. you can't make me go back in there, I don't wanna go..."
Kobe: "You knew something like this was going to happen, didn't you?"
Haru: "Ok, so I did, I just wasn't expecting this reaction. Now hurry up, we need him to get this stuff set up.."

Fast forward about an hour, and the establishment finally opens up to let everyone inside. Once there, they were all seeing Haru and Kobe getting the radio equipment set up, but they also saw poor Murai tied to a chair, slaving away at his laptop, and crying all the while.

Haru: "Ok, mike check's done"
Kobe: "All the levels are set. Murai, how about the satellite connection?"
Murai: "I... hate... you... both...."
Haru: "Uh.. yeah. Where's Eeth? We got five minutes before we're live."
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Mr. Trout
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Henshin boogy
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Where was Eeth? Actually being a good boss. He was in the back of Mcjiggles, making sure everything was ready and giving really horrifyingly bad pep talks to his staff. Near the end it turned into some form of rambling and blaming the lost space demon goats trapped in belts, but the waitresses, cooks, hostesses and all that were getting extra money for working today. That and well, this was the fifth time Eeth had blamed demon goats from outer space, they had started just tuning him out. You really cant blame them for that, Eeth wasnt even paying attention to what he was saying. Eventually though he left the back and made a quick, final stop before meeting the radio hosts.

There was a single special addition to the mighty Mcjiggles workspace. A large enough booth with long boards and a number of televisions around it. The entire thing had been a bitch to get, but Eeth had managed to get a temporary gambling license, and the rights to film and display the fight that was going on. Yes, Mcjiggles TV was going live from the battle, with a number of cameras hard at work to catch every inch of the fight. You could only view the fighting either live at the grounds, or in a comfortable neighborhood Mcjiggles. That or tune in the radio to get a perfect live commentary by some people who were probably going to have a few drinks.

Yes, there were quite a few new special brews at Mcjiggles, mostly because of the special brewery that Eeth and Jiraiya had made out of a holy spring and an 80's montage. Think how much would never get done if we didnt have montages. As well as trying to rake in the dough from the fight, it had been Eeth's brilliant drunken idea to unveil the new drinks tonight, in a special fight night promotion. That and he was going to try and slip it to the announcers to get cheap on air spots. Not a bad plan eh?

Eventually though, the man made it to where he was supposed to be. The radio hosts and their station. He actually tried to look nice today. His usual cheap frumpy and frayed suit was gone. This one was black slacks and coat, with a purple shirt and a black tie. It was nice, clean, and fit him perfectly. Quite the feat of practical tailoring. He smiled as he approached the radio workers. He was trying to make a good impression, even to the point of not actually carrying a glass when he came up to them.

"Sorry about that, big day and all for Mcjiggles."
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Neo
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I'd beware if I were you
[ *  *  *  * ]
Now that was unusual to see. Eeth... looking proper for a change? There was a double take between Haru and Kobe, then they looked at each other, then to Eeth, then each other again, before looking to the owner of the establishment with a question on their minds.

Haru & Kobe: "Ok, who are you, and what have you done with Eeth?"

Murai didn't partake in the confusion, he was busy triangulating the sat linkup for all the locations involved. Some people had actually surrounded him, both in awe and disturbed by the rate of how fast he was keying in all of the information he had. Of course, he knew the system like the back of his hand, after all, how many kids get his own high tech satellite when he turns 16?

Murai: "...Calculating satellite linkup to all pinpoint destinations... Activating security safeguards 6-79... Connecting hi-def video feed... Calibrating all camera angles... and go."

Just then, at exactly 11:30, the station's last song just stopped playing, and the warning that they were going live counted down. Thankfully, both Haru and Kobe were near their seats just as soon as Murai said go, so they were able to grab their wireless headsets, and were able to toss one to Eeth. There was enough time to give him a chance to get ready, Haru had to play it to the crowd anyway.

Haru: "Gooooood Saturday Morning Assholes. We're coming to you live from Mcjiggles, just in time to see the opponents arrive to the AHS arena. With me as always is my co-host, Kobe Mitarashi...
Kobe: "Morning everyone."
Haru: "..Our Tech producer, Murai Korikou..."
Murai: "Someone please... just get me out of here.."
Haru: "And our special guest, the owner of this little place, and actually looking decent for a drastic change, Eeth Hellsing."
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Mr. Trout
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Henshin boogy
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
"Dont look so surprised." Eeth caught the headset with his offhand, a gesture most people would believe was some sort of fluke of nature. Really, the best disguise Eeth ever made was convincing people that he was a drunken failure. Now even if he walked around saving the world naked, people would think they were high or terrorists attacked the water. He gave a smile and a wink to really, no one and strode up to the table where the others had gathered, setting up his headset.

"It isnt like the wife lets me live with a bottle of scotch in my mouth." It was a half truth, she wouldnt let it happen, but that had absolutely nothing to do with what was going on today. While he appeared sober, and if anyone asks, he wanted to prove the pure strength of the new alcohol he was peddling. Yes, if it could take the great Hellsing from sober to arrested for public indecency in under an hour, it simply was a dangerous concoction. Though in reality, he wanted a chance to see two legends go at it with as clear a head as he could possibly have. He had been insignificant in his time at AHS, never actually meeting Ryu, but was told he shot at him once. And Neo...well in all honesty the british man couldnt even remember if he ever met Neo even in passing.

"So then. I'd like to say right now I've got fifty quid riding on that Valreign bloke. Any of you kids want to add to the action? We got a lovely booth to place your bets in. Dont feel like it yet? Dont worry, I'll ask you again once you've got a couple pints in ya." A bit jackassish but come on, this was the first time on radio. Did you expect him to be responsible?
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It was one of Josh's habits to walk about random streets, looking for something or anything. A habit really didn't describe it significantly, it was more of an addiction. Neither was he looking for something or anything, in truth, even if he hadn't admitted it to himself Josh was always out looking for someone to protect, some evil to face down, some wrong to right. To people like him, ordinary days were a blessing and a torment. They made him feel antsy and relieved at the same time. It made him feel like he should be out somewhere else because he knew, somewhere, in some place something terrible was happening.

Of course, Josh was also easily distracted. There was traffic backed-up for miles along the roads and people were stuck in gridlock. As he walked by he could hear each conversation, people talking about who would win, by how much, what they were betting, if anyone would die. This all seemed a bit weird for Josh, he had been around the block once or twice, but a boxing match, or MMA fight never garnered this much attention. And to hope someone would die? The whole thing seemed a bit blown out of proportion, something was off and he had missed some kind of crucial detail. He stopped at the passenger window of a blue family car, with a man, his wife, and a small boy in the back. It was a humid and hot day in the summer, so all the windows were rolled down. The wife had her hair tied up in a bun with those stick things pushed through it.

Josh always thought they looked like chop sticks, and thought that eating with something that had been in your hair just moments before comical.

Because of the heat he was wearing a plain white T-shirt with a pair of khaki shorts on, a brown belt running through the loops, nothing fancy, and the bright colors kept the sun's heat off of him for the most part. He tapped on the side of the car door, startling the middle aged woman.

"Sorry to interrupt m'am, but could you tell me what all this traffic is about?" He said, gesturing ahead and down the street to emphasize his point. "Seems a bit much for such a lazy day."

She looked at him like he was crazy, how could anyone not have heard? It's been broadcast for such a long time, she assumed the whole world had known. The woman pulled out a folded paper fan and began to cool herself off. "You must have been living under a rock for the past month, don't you know? Two metas are gonna fight!" Her voice was high-pitched, Josh didn't know why but he felt like hurting her. "To the death!" The little boy said, drawing a curt smile from the mother and father. Among a bevy of talents, Josh was quite accomplished at acting, his face didn't change from the polite smile he approached the car in.

"I don't suppose you could tell me which metas are fighting?" He asked, his voice practically oozing benign etiquette. The woman looked up to the upholstered ceiling in the car, as if the answers were written there. She clicked her tongue off the roof of her mouth twice then looked to her husband. "Honey, do you remember-"

"Ryu Mushashi and Neo Valreign." He stated quickly and quietly, cutting her off very abruptly. He was a traditional man no doubt, and likely didn't like the intrusion to his space. Josh took that as his que to leave. "Thank you greatly." He added with a slight dip in his head and stood back up, his face taking a much more somber visage. He had to get to this McJiggles place that was being advertised on the radio every third sentence. He had no doubt that he could get some more information there.

*Ryu and Neo...to the death?* He stood frozen on the spot, surely he must have missed something, they wouldn't fight to the death. There is no reason for it. *In any case, I should make my way to McJiggles. I'm guessing that's where everyone is going anyhow.*

With the current anti-meta sentiment he couldn't exactly just fly there though, he was in for a long walk.
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Neo
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I'd beware if I were you
[ *  *  *  * ]
It isn't like the wife lets me live with a bottle of scotch in my mouth.

Kobe: "Hah! I told you he was married. Come on, pay up."
Haru: "What? You? Hitched?? Damn, what the hell is this world coming to?"

Eeth was just privy to something that what incredibly rare to see... Haru actually losing a bet. You see, they had only heard rumors of his being married, but Haru didn't believe them at all. He even made the bet to Kobe on the radio about this, and he unfortunately lost. So, he had to keep his word, as he reached into his wallet and pulled out a 10,000 yen bill before it was snatched out of his hand.

So then. I'd like to say right now I've got fifty quid riding on that Valreign bloke. Any of you kids want to add to the action? We got a lovely booth to place your bets in. Don't feel like it yet? Don't worry, I'll ask you again once you've got a couple pints in ya.

Haru: "Yeah, I would, but someone over there just took the betting money I brought with me."
Kobe: "And you can bet that I'm gonna enjoy it. Thank you Eeth for proving me right. And uh, Murai can't bet, he's still slightly underage for that."
Murai: "Thank god for that."
Haru: "Thankfully though, the station's covering any drinks I'm having today, so I'll take you up on one of those pints."

People were still coming in, much to Eeth's delight. And that betting table was crowded as well. Time passed, and Haru and Kobe were talking to the crowd the entire time. Murai tried to escape, but damn that Kobe was good with knots. Eventually, noon had arrived, and there were two pints already empty at Haru's part of the announcing area.

Haru: "Alright folks, it's about to start.... No wait, screw that, it just did. Neo Valreign starts this off with a high speed uppercut just as soon as the last bell rang, but Ryu Musashi moves his head to dodge."
Kobe: "It looks like Neo is out of position after that though, and now Ryu counters with a power blow to Neo's abdomen.. and it connects. No wait, Neo's dissipating."
Haru: "Oh, now I see what he did. Valreign started with one of his phantoms to see how Ryu would react, because he actually didn't even move to begin with. Now he counters Ryu's counter with one of his patented Twisters, but Ryu dodges... How the hell could he dodge that?"
Kobe: "I don't think he did Haru, I do think he connected as it hit his side... no, Ryu purposely used that to spin out of the way. But I doubt he could have done that without taking in some damage from Neo initial assault. But here he comes again, throwing punch after punch after punch."
Haru: "Yes, but if there's one thing that Neo Valreign is known for, it's that ungodly speed of his, as he's showing some of it as he's weaving through every one of those devastating punches of Musashi's. And now he's diving in, actually taking one of those punches to his left shoulder."
Kobe: "Wait a sec, Neo's flipping Ryu over his shoulder.. and he's trying to electrocute him? He's out of the area, but Ryu counters again, firing a energy blast right at him just before he lands on the arena ground, and leaping back up onto his feet."
Haru: "And the blast is literally chasing Valreign as he's running, but he doesn't make any movement to dodge it. Wait, he just jumped off of the arena platform, heading towards the seating area.. and now he dodged the energy burst. We're back to where we started folks, both opponents staring each other down."
Kobe: "If I'm right about this, everything that just took place just took less then three minutes, and I believe that I'm counting only one clean hit for both of them. Eeth, your thoughts so far?"
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Mr. Trout
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Henshin boogy
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
"Yeah, girl I met in highschool. We've got a daughter at home. Damn thing isnt out of diapers and already broke the robot I won." But you know, who every thought that someone would be bad enough to bet on if Eeth was a married bastard, or just a regular bastard. Apparently these two clowns. Which on its own was plenty fine. But what basically amounted to fifty quid on him getting hitched? Where was his money in this! Damn those two! Not even giving him a piece of the action.

"Hehe, sure, not old enough to bet but able to get stinking drunk." Ah Eeth was pleased, finally an idea he had perfect understanding of with his own crazy plots. He raised his hand, signaling a very boxum young waitress who was off in the wings, ready for that signal. She was young, red head, with freckles and a very tight tube top, which helped when she walked it bounced around a little more, making it hard to read 'mcjiggles' that was imprinted on the front. She carried with her three pint glasses filled with very cold alcohol.

"This gentlemen, is Susanoo. A special home brew that my business partner and I made up in dragoon mountain. He picked the naming scheme since I wanted to call it 'holy fuck, beer'. Anyways, drink up." The wonderful waitress gave a huge smile when she put the glasses in front of the trio and bounced back off to whatever crazy work schedule she was on now.

Then the fight started. It was a truly entrancing fight, one that left even the bitter drunk called Eeth with his mouth open. Well, it should have been. Instead he had one really really DUMB thing to say.

"Wait...has that clock tower ALWAYS been there? I swear I've never seen it before."

Okay, moving on from that note of stupidity.

"Right well, it looks like Ryu is...falling asleep? In a fight. What is this guy Mr. Zzz?" Sadly yes, Eeth was making a detective comic's reference. Which is sad since he really isnt the kind of guy who would read it. Fuck the fourth wall!
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